


Oh, Lieutenant....

by gimmekensei



Category: Bleach
Genre: Character Turned Into a Ghost, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kanisawa is a ghost, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 17:38:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17854154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gimmekensei/pseuds/gimmekensei
Summary: Doomed from the start, Kanisawa is unable to stop herself from watching her former classmate spiral out of control and into depression. Helpless, she shares with us Shuhei's struggles.





	Oh, Lieutenant....

On the other side of the nine badge tied to an upper arm is a raven-colored haired male. Scars deeper than the eye can see trail down his cheeks like the natural flow of running water.

  
A talented Lieutenant he might be, but behind doors he’s merely a ghost in human form. He’s a story keeper, depending on who sees him. To the former Captain he was his eyes, his trusting fan. To the current Captain, he is a reminder of what the past once held. Of the lives lost. Of the greatest betrayal.  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant are you scared?_  
  
Depression entwines itself with you and yet you still stand, forcing signature after signature to appear on the paperwork before you. Is this a dream or rather reality?  
  
You always wanted to work for this silver haired man and yet, was the cost worth it? Losing one adored Captain for another?  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant are you being true to yourself?_  
  
You lie between clenched teeth that you’re fine. Do you tell them that for their sake or for yours? Are you merely trying to remind yourself that you / _should_ / be fine?    
  
_Oh, Lieutenant?_  
  
Where are you headed? What path are you traveling? You visit the fourth division for help and they say they can’t help you. That they can’t understand you. And you can’t help but agree. You don’t know who the man is staring back at you in the mirror.  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant…you really don’t understand yourself, do you?_

You exchanged your soul for these Captains. And now as you walk past the suburbs of Soul Society, guitar strapped to back and venture into the woods, where are they for you? Where is their sacrifice?

You walk further and deeper into the woods, even Kazeshini is strangely quiet and perhaps even nervous. Both he and I can’t reach you. It’s as if you are above it all. As if you are resorting to the last thing that can help you or rather….free you.  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant…._  
  
_You ask me if I have any more questions….if I will cease anytime soon. If I’m real. If it’s really me here before you._  
  
_I don’t know, but all I know is that I can’t bear to see this.  A fragment of your mind I might be, but now things are starting to make sense. Where you now sit, back resting the cold, rough bark of a tree, touching the strings of your beloved guitar, the puzzle pieces have been put together at last._  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant, don’t do this._

With a quick, precise slice to the neck, it seems Kazeshini really did reap your life.  
  
  _Oh, Lieutenant, why? Was death really your last resort?_

No longer full of the sounds of melancholy music, the woods seem to swallow the lifeless male whole. For better or worse, he is no longer within my grasp.  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant….this wasn’t supposed to happen. I…I don’t know what to say or do. I.I-I’m scared too._

  
_Your pain…it chokes my senses and brings tears to my eyes as I return home, to my grave. You always took such great care of it, always pouring my favorite sake onto my stone tomb. I thought I’d be happy to see you join me at last, but now I regret even thinking such a selfish thought. And now as I stand here, hair tied up with the two pearls you gave me, and the soft fabric of my Shin'ō Academy female uniform blowing in the wind, I watch as your body is carried and placed a few spots away from me. It doesn’t take long for the crowd to disperse._  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant….look._  
  
A muscular male gets down before your grave, his fingerless black gloved hands covering his face. The only sign that he’s upset is for the occasional sob slipping from his lips. Choked curses and whispered apologizes spill from him.  
  
_Oh, Lieutenant….how foolish. You were cared for, treasured even._  
  
_“Shuhei….” I whisper out and watch as your form slowly materializes. Even though you hear me, you seem to ignore me in favor of reaching out for the grieving Captain. Hands trembling, he slips through your touch, but even so you try to comfort him. The air around the visored chills due to the presence of the ghost, but there he stays, unknowingly in your embrace._  
  
_Oh, Shuhei…..please, oh, please don’t cry._  
  
_P-Please._


End file.
